MISERY!
Isn’t this supposed to be precious? Beautiful? Glowing? Happy?
Things that currently hurt:
- Boobs: These hurt in so many ways I don’t have words. They are HUGE. My nipples have mostly felt like sandpaper is rubbing them if they are touched, although turned this last weekend into a very pleasurable feeling when other things happen. They are SORE every single day more and more so, and I think somehow it grows throughout the day, although my midnight bathroom run last night they felt as if they might burst.
- Hips/Legs/Butt: Every time I stand up it feels like I spent the last 2 days running a marathon. Sat too long? My hips are on fire. Drove more than a mile? My sciatic pain is out of control. Need to take the stairs? I suddenly weigh a million pounds and can’t carry the weight of my own body.
- Feet: Just don’t have them, it’s not worth it. They are in constant unending pain whether I am standing on them or not. I am keeping them up as much as possible, and there is no amount of time that is enough time for the pain to subside. The weird thing is, they are not physically swelling much, although some shoes do feel tighter after a long day. AND…pain does not change with the type of shoe I wear, in fact some of my heels are more comfortable on them then my tennis shoes, so explain that?!
- Abdomen: Did someone say ROUND LIGAMENT PAIN? I have it…in droves. Sneezing sends shooting pain across my lower stomach, coughing seems to choose one side or the other. Turning over in bed is a major ordeal, because if I move too fast I have to bite my lip not to scream. Due to this sweet baby sharing space with a large fibroid, chances are this added pain is not going anywhere anytime soon.
- Right shoulder/Arm: I have majorly messed up my shoulder, and the source is still unknown, but there are multiple knots up and down from the shoulder to my wrist that are so tender that simply touching them with mild pressure is excruciating! I also appear to have pinched a nerve on top of that, and am experiencing a series of numbness in areas, that is ridiculously uncomfortable, and Mitch is probably very sick of hearing me complain about this arm.
- EVERYWHERE: I am struggling with retaining enough nutrition with the introduction of my morning sickness to even out the anemia I already struggle with, so am experiencing the normal pains I have always had with low iron levels. I also went from weighing about 110 pounds to 600 overnight, and that I has been hard on all my muscles and joints.
I am not glowing, or feeling wonderful at the moment, as you can see. I would like to complain about everything from lack or brain function, to trouble focusing, staying awake, and organizing thought, but it might be best to try to find some rainbows here.
Things that I am finding great joy in:
- My Partner: You will find I brag about him a lot. But, I don’t want to mislead you. He’s just a normal man. He can be grumpy, selfish, smelly, and messy just like the rest of us. He is in no way perfect. But he is an imperfect man, that is perfect for me and I am still head over heels in love with, and always will be. That being said, there are moments he pisses me off, or I wish he would do something he didn’t, but he is my person. He is also supportive and wonderful, and my best friend. And, we did this thing together, on purpose, and he literally carries me to the bathroom when my legs can’t hold me (this is fair, since sometimes they can’t hold me because we have had too much sexy time…yes, even now)
- My Girls. They are all the things teenagers should be, but better. They too are messy and crabby, but they give me hugs and buy me chocolate and don’t let the fact they can tell I can barely walk at the end of the day keep them from asking. “What’s for dinner?” They are a bright moment in everyday, for the first 3 minutes I spend with them.
- My Cat: Just kidding. He belongs on a “Things That Annoy Me” list, but he’s also very cute.
- Sleep: I am loving my vivid dreams. I get to do all the things I can’t actually do right now, like walk a block without pain.
- Taco Bell. I want it. All the time. I have only had it twice, but both times, I found great joy in it.
I had to take a break from writing this as I brought up T-bell and couldn’t stop thinking about it so I needed to go make a plate of nachos. I hoovered them, and have now made a second and acted like it was my first and have left it untouched in front of me. A full plate of untouched food makes me feel like a delicate flower instead of a massive cow.
Cool things happening this week:
- My baby is the size of a lentil or a sweet pea…either one is much more easy to grasp than a sesame seed which is what most platforms compared it to last week.
- Heartburn, constant peeing, and the urge to cry can become just a normal part of life.
- I have learned I hate pregnancy apps. But, they are very informative. They tell me things I already know about myself, like I am going to be farty, or bloated. However, they also then tell me how to get it on in a new way…like, they think I want to read about my poop, but then I am ready to think about sexy pregnancy lingerie that actually looks like my grandmother tried to design a swimsuit that also was bondage gear.
- I have cleaned out my closet of 2/3’s of my clothing because I already can’t fit in most of my clothes. I have kept mostly stretchy cotton items, and jackets to hide the bump as long as possible.
Things I want to begin planning this week
- How to not over gain weight
- How to control my swelling and bloating throughout the day
- Our next family vacation
- Mitch and I’s “Babymoon”
- Cleaning out the house and getting rid of extra stuff
- My baby “buy” list
Now I am off to sip a Sprite and pretend it’s wine while I binge watch South Park.
xoxo
-d-
